Scared about hysterectomy

I thought that I would blog about some of my feelings regarding the upcoming hysterectomy. I'm scared and nervous about this. I honestly think this is one of the scariest things that I have ever dealt with in my life. This type of situation makes you really evaluate your life. I had to have a very difficult discussion last night with Master Anakin. It was about my final wishes should something happen to me during this surgery.

It was recommended by HysterSisters as well as other people to have that important discussion. Master didn't really want to talk about it but did discuss this with me. It was one of the most difficult talks that I've ever had with Him. I could tell that He's scared and nervous like I am. I am sitting here in tears as I write this blog post. This is a very hard to think about. I was up last night thinking about it.

I am really glad that I am not fighting with anyone right now going into this surgery. I want to make sure that my feelings for people are said. I really wish that I had done up a will. I've been putting it off because it's something that no one wants to think about. I want to make it through surgery and be ok. I want to be able to pee ok and not have any bladder damage or complications. A lot of people have talked about their health issues improving after a hysterectomy. I just want to feel better.

The last year has been very challenging for me and changed me in so many ways. I have a much deeper appreciation for my friends and family. I am grateful to be alive. It's scary to think about what would happen if I don't make it through surgery and the people that I would leave behind, especially Master and my kids. :/  This whole thing is a very scary experience.

Thank you for everyone who has given me support and friendship with what I am going through. I truly appreciate it. It helps to know that there have been many others who have had hysterectomies and made it through surgery ok with no complications.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala