Hysterectomy. The Musical

I have been preparing for my upcoming Hysterectomy next month. I've been on Hystersisters almost every day reading. I've also been reading a book about it that I got from Chapters. I've been asking lots of questions to women who have had the surgery done before. The surgery is on my mind all day! It's been a really rough few days. I have been having a brutal period. A reminder for me on why I'm having this surgery done. It was not an easy decision to make. Months of agonizing and researching about the surgery. Wondering if there might be other alternatives. I know there is no turning back now though. I need the surgery. I can't live like this anymore. It's severely affected my quality of life. In a few weeks I will be saying goodbye to my uterus.

I read something on another site this morning which made me smile. I wanted to share. It's about Hysterectomy. It's called Hysterectomy. The Musical. 

"Bye bye uterus. Bye bye tumors.
No more babies.
I’m so happy I’m gonna cry.
Bye bye female organ bye bye.
Bye bye aches and pains.
Bye bye sleepless nights.
Hello empty nest. I’ll kiss my womb goodbye.
I’m through with throwing up.
I’m through with cramps.
No more reading pain medication ads.
But there’s a reason I think it’s so cool, because now I don’t have to be in birth control school.
Bye bye uterus. Bye bye tumors.
I’m so happy I’m gonna cry."

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A naughty Friday night with Anakin!

Friday night was a really fun and naughty night for me! I got to have a date night with Master Anakin! It was really nice to have a distraction and some fun! We went to see the movie, Jobs. Really, really good movie! We were both really impressed with it. He took me out for sushi afterwords. Then we went home to play on the darkside!!

I got spanked!!!! YAH!!! He used His hand and belt on my bottom! We had some amazing sex!! He gave me a really big g-spot orgasms too! It was so nice to escape into some play for a few hours. We woke up to some more play too on Saturday. I really enjoyed the connection with Him!

I went to the Dentist on Saturday afternoon. I needed to get 3 cavities filled and wanted this done before my upcoming surgery. One of them was very deep. *Major* ouchies!!!! I started to feel terrible by Saturday night. I was told there is a chance that the cavity could result in a root canal if the pain doesn't go away. It's two days later and it's still bothering me. :/  Not fun! Tooth pain is the worst!!

I've also had PMS going on. I spent a lot of time over the weekend resting and watching one of my new favorite shows Lost!! It's very addictive and on Netflix. It helped to distract me from everything that is going on.

I am feeling a lot of anxiety over my upcoming Hysterectomy next month. It's been hard to think about anything else lately. I wake up thinking about it. I go to bed thinking about it. It's only a few weeks away now. I am feeling a bit of a nesting instinct to get everything organized before the surgery. I want to make sure my place is cleaned and organized.

 Master Anakin bought me a few things for it. I got a nice new large nightgown. He even got a book from Chapters about Hysterectomy so I could understand it a bit better. He's been very supportive and wonderful. I am so glad He is there for me. I don't know what I would do without Him. He is my strong force. :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy birthday Master Anakin!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Master Anakin!! Today is Master's birthday! :)

I also got some news today. I have a date for my hysterectomy now. It's Wed. Sept. 18th. I am feeling very nervous about it but will be glad to have it done and over with. I just hope there are no complications. There are some risks due to the size and location of the largest fibroid which is on my bladder. I just hope it all goes smoothly. I am still on the cancellation list but it sounds like it will most likely happen on that date. At least I can try to plan for it now.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Movie date night with Master

It was really nice to have a distraction yesterday. Master Anakin and I had a date night. He took me to see Man of Steel! Great movie! It was much better than I expected. It was really nice to get my mind off the upcoming surgery. We came home and opened some wine. We played a little bit and had sex. I had a really big orgasm. We were not able to play very hard due to the marks. I am on a cancellation list for the surgery so I don't want to have many marks in case it happens right away. He did spank me with His hand and a little bit with the belt. It was nice to have a red bum! :) I enjoyed my date night with Master.

I am spending the day getting ready for the surgery. I was told that things can happen very quickly if a cancellation happens. So I want to be ready. I am cleaning the house and also getting my hospital bag ready. I'm panicky and scared but also feel a sense of acceptance over the hysterectomy. I am having so many different health issues going on because of the rapidly growing fibroids. I know that this was the best decision and that has given me some peace. I just hope that I can get in sooner than later for the surgery. I want to be recovering and not dealing with these awful fibroids anymore.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Proceeding with the hysterectomy

I went to see the Specialist today regarding the hysterectomy. I got a lot of answers regarding the surgery. I didn't realize how bad the situation was until today. She wanted to do an internal exam and then did a biopsy on me. There is a small risk of cancer with having fast growing fibroids. She wanted to be sure. The biopsy hurt 10 X worse than a pap smear. She had to take a tube and put it through my cervix to get it into my uterus and scrap the cells. The pain was extreme!! I am a masochist but that was unbearable. I am now bleeding from it. Not fun! :(

She saw the ultrasound results and did an internal to check the size/shape of the fibroids. She had a pretty serious look on her face. She told me that she recommends that I get a hysterectomy. She doesn't always recommend it but she does in my case. The fibroids are quickly growing. My largest which was 10 cm is now 14 cm. There is a really nasty one right on my bladder. I thought that peeing all the time was just a part of aging. She explains that one makes the surgery more complicated.

She said there is a risk of damage to the bladder/urethra. She plans to keep me in the hospital until I can pee ok. She plans to take the uterus, tubes and cervix. She wants to keep my ovaries although they may have to be removed if she finds a problem with them during the surgery. She showed me a diagram of how big the largest fibroids are. Wow!! I couldn't believe it! It made my head spin! No wonder I'm having a lot of health issues. I realized there was no other options regarding this surgery. This is not a good situation at all. :(

She told me that the surgery is "bloody" and there is usually major blood loss. I had to sign a consent for a blood transfusion. She said the recovery will depend on what type of surgery (I am getting laproscopic but might need to be cut open too and have abdominal) and how fast I bounce back from this and what is removed. It's a lot to think about. I haven't needed any type of surgery since my c-section. This is a different type of surgery. It's all very scary. I came home and had a full blown panic attack over this. :/

I've been put on a waiting list to get this done ASAP. I was told to be ready for this at any time. They will phone me if there are any cancellations. 

This is a life changing event. I just hope that everything will be ok. It's all very scary and upsetting. My force is not feeling very strong.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Nervous about upcoming hysterectomy

I haven't been feeling up to blogging much lately. I've been feeling a bit depressed lately. 2013 hasn't turned out to be a great year. It seems to be one thing after another. I spent months going back and forth to the hospital with my FIL. He passed away in April. I had a breast cancer scare after getting a mammogram done. I've been dealing with lots of health issues this year despite trying to get healthy.

A lot of my health issues started in December. I thought that getting healthy would help them. I started doing yoga. I cleaned up my diet. I have lost 30 pounds so far. It didn't seem to help my periods though. They just seemed to get worse. One of my periods lasted 2 weeks and was the period from hell. I knew something was wrong and went to see the Doctor. He noticed my uterus was enlarged and sent me for an ultrasound.

My uterus is filled with fibroids. One of the largest is 10 cm. The fibroids have been making my life miserable. I even wound up in the ER over it. I was put on a waiting list to see the specialist. It's taken two months to finally see one. The appointment is tomorrow. It's been recommended that I have a hysterectomy. I have gone back and forth over this surgery. I've agonized about whether I should get it done or not. It's been one of the toughest decisions to make in my life.

Getting a hysterectomy is major surgery. I wanted to make sure that I was making the right decision about it. Master Anakin and I had a very big talk last night. I have decided to get the hysterectomy done. I will find out more information tomorrow about it. I'm going to need a lot of help and support to get through the recovery time.

One of the best websites that I joined was HysterSisters.  I've spent hours on there reading about it. I joined it the other day. I've been wanting to talk to others who have gone through it. I know that everyone has a different experience with it but it helps to know that I'm not alone.

My force hasn't felt very strong lately. I'm really glad to have Master in my life though. He's been my strong force. I don't know what I would do without Him.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A pretty good weekend

I had a pretty good weekend with Master Anakin. We were able to have a quickie on Friday night. He also gave me a big orgasm right before bed. It was nice to connect. We weren't able to play though. I really miss getting spanked! :P 

The rest of the weekend was pretty good too. Father's day was a bit sad though. It was Anakin's first Father's day without His Dad. It was strange to go for a picnic in the park without him. We are in the same boat now. We both don't have a Dad to celebrate it with.

I am feeling very nervous and anxious today. I have an appointment on Thursday with the Gync about getting a hysterectomy done. This is a very major surgery and a lot to think about. I have been dealing with fibroids. One of the fibroids is quite large and causing me a lot of problems. I've been trying to be healthy this year but struggled with some issues like the fibroids. I feel very torn. I would like to be rid of all the problems with my fibroids but the surgery is scary. I'm worried about the recovery time and possible complications from that surgery. The whole thing is causing me a lot of anxiety.

I miss Master a lot today. Can't wait to cuddle up with Him tonight.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

TGIF! Keep calm it's Friday!

TGIF! Keep calm it's Friday. I'm really glad the weekend is coming up. I am not feeling 100% today but hoping that I improve by tomorrow. We are heading to Victoria for the day. I was really looking forward to getting away from it all. I love going on the B.C. ferry. The fresh ocean air and beautiful sights of Victoria! It's a really nice place to visit.

I'm going to go work on my chores. I'm counting down the hours until Master Anakin is home. I really miss Master.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good - This weekend was a mixture of emotions for me. The good part of it was seeing my teen daughter have her prom night. She looked beautiful in her prom dress. Her boyfriend surprised her by taking her to prom in a helicopter! Talk about making an entrance! I was so happy for the teen. It was nice to celebrate something positive. I can't believe she is graduating from high school! The years have really flown by fast.

The Bad - I was extremely stressed out about getting a call back on my mammogram. I had a second mammogram done on Friday. I spent a lot of time over the weekend feeling very worried and anxious. I spent almost 2 hours on Saturday night trying to find a lump in my left breast.

I couldn't feel anything and either could Anakin. My Doctor also didn't feel anything when I had a breast exam during my recent physical exam. It's been agonizing waiting to find out what's going on. I have a breast ultrasound tomorrow on my left breast. I see the Doctor on Thursday to discuss the results. I may need a biopsy if the breast ultrasound doesn't go very well. It's hard to wait for answers. I know people tell me not to worry but how can you not?  It's a very big worry. Having breast cancer would change my life. I just hope it turns out ok. I've been extremely stressed out about it.

and the Ugly - Cancer is such an ugly disease. I feel like it's touched my life in so many ways. I've watched it take away people that I love. I've seen people (like one of my best friends) struggle with it in a very big way. She had stage 3 breast cancer. Had 2 years of chemo and radiation as well as losing her breasts. Cancer sucks! It is a horrible feeling when you wonder if you have it. I've tried to be healthy but sometimes that isn't enough. Cancer can happen to anyone. It's very scary. :(

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The dreaded call back on a Mammogram

The last 48 hours have been some of the most stressful that I've ever had. On Thursday I got the call that women dread. I had my first mammogram done the week before. They wanted to do more diagnostic testing. The woman didn't tell me much on the phone but wanted to get me in right away. That set off some of the worst panic and anxiety that I've ever had.

One of my closest friends is a breast cancer survivor. She has gone through hell with it. She was one of the first people that I phoned to tell the news. She's been really reassuring. She even came with me to my appointment yesterday for a second mammogram. 

I went for the second Mammogram after a really awful night. I hardly slept. I couldn't eat breakfast. I thought I was going to puke. The lady was very friendly. She told me they only wanted to examine my left breast near the nipple. She told me it's very common to get called back for more tests after a first mammogram and not to worry. That's very hard though. Obviously you are going to worry. I was told to wait in the waiting room to see if I needed anymore testing like an ultrasound. I was really hoping she would come and tell me it was ok. She handed me a slip of paper though and told me to come back for an ultrasound.

I've been spending a lot of time researching and reading about it. The ultrasound will show a lot more and hopefully it won't need a biopsy. At least the stats are in my favor. There is usually a very low risk of it turning out to be cancer. They told me that 90% of calls back are fine. You can't help but think of the 10% who do have cancer though. My friend was one of those people. It's really hard to not think about it or worry. I will admit that this has really consumed me. I can't think about anything else.

Tomorrow is the teen's prom/grad. I am going to try very hard to focus on her big day and celebrate something positive. It's just very difficult with this happening right now. I wish that I had some answers. Thank you for everyone who has messaged me and be there through this. I don't feel so alone with going through this experience. I will keep everyone updated.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Hanging in there

I'm hanging in there. It's been a really rough time lately. I'm still dealing with losing my FIL. I'm dealing with some health issues too. I spent the day in the ER yesterday. I was in pretty bad shape. I was in a lot of pain. Having fibroids is awful. :(  I am on a waiting list to see the specialist and get a hysterectomy. I haven't felt very good this week. I haven't been online very much.

Master has been very supportive and amazing! I'm so lucky to have Master Anakin. I don't know what I would do without Him. I have been missing Him a lot. He is off work tomorrow though! So it's a long weekend coming up! I can't wait to spend some time with Him. Hopefully we can play on the darkside!  :P

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Our force is strong!

Anakin and I have been together for almost 17 years. That's a very long time. We've seen lots of couples break up and not make it.  Master Anakin and I have been through a lot. We've had some really hard struggles in our relationship. The last few weeks have been stressful. There was lots to do for my FIL's memorial. It's been a very difficult month for us. It's still hard to believe that my FIL (father-in-law) is really gone. :(  We had a very nice memorial for him. Anakin spent a long time working on the memorial video for that. My FIL would have been very proud. We are going to miss him a lot.

 I've had some health issues too. I went for an ultrasound last week. It showed that I have some fibroids. One of them is quite large. It's caused me to have heavy periods and that makes me very anemic. My last period lasted for 2 weeks!! I got my period on the weekend and it has taken a lot out of me. I feel very fatigued and drained from it. Fibroids are making my life hell!

It's been recommended that I have a hysterectomy. That's a very scary thought. Anakin assured me that He would be there for me. I wouldn't have to go through it alone. Our force is strong! I feel like we can get through anything together.

I really miss playing on the darkside with Master. It's been a while since we really played hard. I would love to have that kind of escape and leave our worries behind for a while. I could really use a hard spanking! :P

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Back to normal

Things are back to normal again today. The kids are finally back to school after a two week Spring Break. Anakin is back to work after a 4 day long weekend for Easter. We had a pretty nice Easter. We managed to find some time for naughty fun on the darkside. We also were able to get away for a really nice afternoon in Burnaby on Saturday. It was nice to get away from it all for a while.

Easter was also a bit of a sad holiday for us too. We visited my FIL (Father-in-Law) in the hospital for Easter. That situation has been really stressful. I find the visits very upsetting and heartbreaking. I feel guilty when I don't visit though. It's hard to say how long that situation is going to go on for. He's still hanging on although I notice a lot of deterioration each week. Cancer sucks!

I've had some heath issues going on as well. I saw my Doctor and have a whole bunch of tests to get done. I've got a shoulder injury but plan to do yoga today. I haven't been able to do it in a few days and really miss it. It helps to center me and also with stress release. I got permission to use the Hitachi today too! That also helps a lot with stress release. :P

I did weigh-in yesterday. I was really nervous about stepping on the scale. I was down another 3 pounds though. I am now down to 157 pounds!! Someone asked me yesterday about a new goal weight. I'm not sure. I never expected to get down to this weight. I've reached two of my goal weights since the New Year started. It's been 3 months since I started my new healthy journey with Master. I'm really proud of our success and how far we have both come.  It hasn't been easy.

I am hoping to get back to blogging more often. I've missed it. :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Staying strong through the dark times

The last few days have been very challenging and stressful for me. I've had a very hard staying on track during it. It was wonderful to get away for a night on Friday. I was able to escape my problems and worries for a while. Then we came back to a lot of reality. My FIL is facing some very serious health issues right now.

He's had pneumonia as well as issues with having cancer. He's deteriorated a lot in the last few weeks. He is still in ICU and not doing very well. I am not sure if/when he is getting out.  The visits to the ICU are exhausting and very emotionally draining.  The ICU has to be one of the most depressing places that I've ever been in my life. A lot of the people are very critical. Some of them wind up getting moved over to the hospice. I keep wondering if we might be dealing with that one day soon. :/

I spent most of the day crying yesterday and feeling very depressed. My FIL is like a Dad to me. He's become a very important part of our family. It feels like a very hopeless situation. I have tried to keep the faith and be positive but it's been very hard sometimes. He is skin and bones and is wasting away in a hospital bed. Cancer sucks! Sometimes he is able to communicate with us but other times he doesn't even recognize us. :(  I'm never sure if I'm ever going to see him again when we leave the hospital. It's a *horrible* feeling!!!

Staying on a healthy track is very difficult when I'm so stressed and depressed over this. Yesterday I was really tempted to pick up some vodka and get really drunk. I've sworn off hard liquor though. I still drink wine but that's very limited. I want to try to cope with the stress and go back to old bad habits like turning to vodka to try to comfort me. I'm not doing to do that though. I was able to do yoga today and that helped me a lot. I was very proud of myself for staying on track even though I was really not wanting to.  Staying healthy when you are very depressed and stressed is hard. I'm really proud of myself. It hasn't been easy at times.

My force hasn't felt very strong lately but Master has been very supportive. Our force is strong. This is a very rough time but I know we'll get through this. We are a very strong couple.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Life can be a roller coaster!

Life can be a real roller coaster sometimes! Many ups and downs as well as hard times. This weekend had many ups and downs. I was glad to take a bit of a break yesterday from it all. We went on a family walk in the park. I enjoyed the sunshine and walking on a hike with Master. We came back and I felt like a bit of a crash.

Master is home from work today. We are dealing with some really serious issues. My FIL needs some legal work done. He's still in ICU and not in great shape. This whole situation is very difficult. I always have to emotionally prepare myself for a visit with my FIL. The ICU is a very depressing place to be. It really shakes me up sometimes.

It's hard to stay healthy in the midst of a crisis. I want to go back to old habits. The temptation is very strong sometimes to drink a shot of vodka. I don't drink hard liquor anymore. It's hard though. I really want to have a shot right now. It used to help me cope with my stress. I need to find healthier ways to deal with it. I haven't done yoga in a few days. I'm going to try to do that today. It's also a sunny day so I'm going to try to go out for a big hike with Master somewhere.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A hard spanking to tears

Master Anakin was home on Friday and we got some time to play. He spanked me for hours with His hand, belt, whip and ebony hairbrush. He used the belt very hard until I was in tears. He wanted to stop spanking me at one point but I asked for more and harder. I felt like I really needed some stress release. The play was a bit rougher than normal. I think we both needed it.

The sex was amazing and so was the orgasm. I floated in subspace with a very red sore bottom. We showered together and bonded. We visited His Dad and ran errands. I had a very sore bum all day. It was a nice reminder of our time on the darkside. :)

Saturday was very exciting! We went to Best Busy and got a new 55 inch LED LG TV! Wow! It's an upgrade from our other smaller one. We watched Skyfall and had pizza. It was a really nice treat for us. I love cuddling up with Him and watching my favorite Bond movie! I can't wait to watch Star Wars on it too!

Today was weigh-in. I'm down another 3 pounds. A total of 19 pounds this year! Wow! I've also reached my new goal weight! I'm really proud of Master and I both! He lost 2 pounds this week. A total of 35 pounds this year! We went for a really nice walk in the park today with the kids! It was a beautiful day outside. We saw some ducks and enjoyed some family time. It was really nice. :) 

I'm feeling very close and connected to Master. It feels good.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A strange morning on the darkside

It's been a really strange morning on the darkside. I never thought that I'd ever be taking another pregnancy test again. I really thought those days were over. I'm 40 years old and Anakin has had a vasectomy. We both regretted the vasectomy. We even looked into vasectomy reversal in 2009. Our marriage was going through a tough time. His mom was dying of terminal cancer. We had some really serious talks about having another baby. It never happened though.

Last year the teen had a bit of a pregnancy scare and made me realize that I could be a Grandma one day! I started to give up hope that I would have anymore children. It's hard to let go of a dream though. We always wanted another child. There was many miscarriages and loss. It would have been risky for me to have another pregnancy. We both decided that it was fate and meant to be. We would only be having two children.

We have a 17 year old daughter and a 11 (almost 12) year old son! My kids are growing up on me. There are some really big life changes going on right now. I have been really stressed out about it. I was diagnosed with having an ulcer. I've been told to try to reduce my stress. I've had a lot of health issues this year. I have lost weight and exercised a lot to deal with stress.

I had some really light spotting for about 2 days at the beginning of February. I thought my period was coming. But it didn't come. I'm weeks late now. :/  This is not typical for me. I've had very normal periods up to this point. I could tell that Anakin was very worried about it.

He went out and bought me a pregnancy test this morning. My hands were shaking and my head was spinning! Master Anakin was pacing around our kitchen. I took the test and almost expected it to show up as positive. I was really surprised when it came out negative. I came downstairs and showed Anakin the test. He didn't say a word to me. He just held me and we hugged for several minutes.

I think we were both a bit surprised by the results of the test. Master went to work a bit late this morning after I took the test. I think we are both doing a lot of thinking. Life really does pass you by so quickly. Changes are always happening. My body is doing a lot of changing too. It's weird to think about menopause. How is that going to affect me and my hormones? I'm a bit scared of the road ahead of me. I've got to admit that I'm a tiny bit disappointed that the test wasn't positive. I'm feeling a bit emotional about it all.

I know that Anakin and I can get through anything though. Our force is forever strong...

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Yoga slave girl

I have been feeling great about myself lately. A lot of confidence has come through with losing weight and getting healthy this year. I made some changes in the new year and decided to get into shape. I've been walking daily as well as doing yoga. I'm a yoga girl! I love how yoga makes me feel. I have better balance and feel very centered after a yoga workout. It's starting to shape my body and make me feel really good about myself.

Master gave me permission to give myself a new hair cut and style. I went to the salon and got my hair cut short. I haven't had my hair cut in a salon since my 39th birthday!! I couldn't believe how much hair came off my head!! I dyed my hair red and also treated myself to some new clothes. I'm in a size medium now!! :)

I got my son to take some pictures of myself including this one of me holding onto my new yoga mat. I also posted a picture on Tumblr of my backside. I am 40 years old and feeling so much better about myself! I haven't felt this good in years!! I've noticed a really big improvement in my arthritis with doing the yoga. I've got more energy and feel years younger. I've had several people compliment me on my appearance lately.

This is just the beginning of my new journey. I'm going forward with a new healthy lifestyle with Master Anakin. Master Anakin has lost 28 pounds so far. We have lost 45 pounds together in 2013!! That's amazing! I'm so proud of us. Our marriage and relationship is stronger than it's ever been! I'm also feeling really good about myself!! It feels great after feeling so crappy for so many years. I can't wait to keep going and see what I look like at the end of this year! I'm not looking back. I'm moving forward and loving life! :)

I did weigh-in this morning. I'm down another 2 pounds. A total of 16 pounds so far this year!! Amazing!

....

I had a date night on Friday with Master. I will be blogging about that next! :)

My force is strong!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A Friday night to remember

Friday was a very special night for me. A night that I'll always remember. Master Anakin got off work early and took me out for dinner. We had sushi and then headed over to the movies. We went and saw Hansel and Gretel! We decided to see it in IMAX which is always really cool! It was a total escape. A pretty good movie. We came home and enjoyed some merlot which was a nice treat for us. I got changed into my new sexy lingerie from Eden Fantasys! 

We laid out the toys and then began playing on the darkside. It was an incredible night of play and romance! We lit some candles and enjoyed some other goodies that came from EF. We took our time and enjoyed each other a lot. There was lots of teasing and foreplay! Lots of spankings too with several different toys. I also got tied up with rope! I was really happy that we got to play a bit rougher. It's been a few weeks since we've been able to play that hard. I've had some back and health issues. I'm really glad we were able to go to the darkside! We both needed that connection.

The sex was rough and very passionate! The orgasms were amazing! We both cuddled up very close as He told me "good girl" before I went to sleep in His arms. I felt so incredibly bonded with Master. It was such a good feeling. It was also a good feeling to have a sore and aching bottom! My ass felt like it was on fire! I love that feeling. I loved feeling the deep subspace from the play. Amazing!

There was more play on Saturday! I gave Him a blowjob too! We cuddled up and watched some movies last night. I felt blissful and happy and also very submissive! It felt great! 

....

Today was weigh-in day for us. We have both lost more weight! Anakin lost 3 1/2 pounds. He's lost 27 1/2 pounds this year!! Way to go, Master! I'm down 2 pounds. A total of 14 pounds this year!! I am currently at 165 pounds! The last time I weighed this was when I got together with Anakin back in 1996!! I'm really proud of our new healthy journey. It hasn't been easy. I love our new journey. :)

Our force feels strong!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Healthy new changes for Master and I!

Today is weigh-in day for Master Anakin and I. I'm really happy with the results! I have lost 4 pounds this last week!! I've worked really hard for it too! I've been doing a combination of yoga as well as walking. I've also been on a new healthy lifestyle with my eating and health. I have lost a total of 12 pounds since December when I got the flu! I am now at 167. My new goal weight is 160 and it's already getting closer to making that goal.  I'm really excited!

Anakin has lost 4 pounds this last week like me.  A total of 23 pounds this month. He hasn't had any soda pop (coke/pepsi) since the new year and that was a struggle for Him.We have been working together to change our lives. I'm really proud of us! This motivates me to keep going and also maybe change a few things too. I've been adding a lot more vitamins into my day which is helping me with my energy. I'm also thinking of adding some weights into it too. I also haven't done boxing in years and am starting to think about that too. I love to see how toned my body is getting and it makes me want to see what I can do with that.

I am surprised how much I've come to enjoy yoga. I used to think that it wouldn't be possible for someone with arthritis to do yoga but I was wrong. It's helped me to go from being bedridden to being able to move around a lot more. I've also noticed it's helped me mentally too. I am less stressed out than I used to be. We've had some really intense stress (FIL is hospital and other family stuff) and yet I'm dealing with it instead of dropping into a deep depression.

I recently ordered a size medium in some lingerie from Eden Fantasys. I haven't been a size medium in years!!! My wedding dress to Master Anakin was a size 2XX.  I was over 200 pounds and miserable. I was able to get down to a size large and stayed that way for a long time. It's a bit of a shock to start thinking about me being in a new size!! I'm on my way to a whole new me this year! It feels great! :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala